I was having sex with an ex-girlfriend. It was a cross of Stefanie and Sara. She had really liked me when we went out and seemed to misse me and what I did to her. We were at my apartment having sex. She showed up unannounced. She missed my and our sexual chemistry and wanted to try things that she couldn't ask her husband to do. I felt ok with this and validated that my sex was really good. She wanted to try anal sex and a lot of it. I indulged. She got up and left a few times, each time I was hard or semi-hare and ready to go. She came back and did an enema in front of me which I thought was gross. I could see undigested bits of food fall from the tube she was using and onto my living room bedsheet which I thought was careless. I still wanted to fuck her, so I didn't make a fuss, but it still bothered me. She disappeared for another few minutes and when she came back, my male neighbor was with us, naked and ready for sex. She said she had always want d sext with two guys. I thought he was cute, so I said, yeah, we can make that happen. I confessed that I had always wanted to try a double penetration too and that I watched it in porn all the time. I started to direct them in what to do when I got a knock on my door. I stepped outside naked and found another neighbor waiting to come in. He said Stefanie and invited him and that he hopes this event will take place as the one last week that he had shown up for had been cancelled with our notice and after he had already shown up. He was not attractive and kind of ugly so I told him to wait outside while I go talk to her. When I got back inside there was yet another guy waiting. She alluded to wanting a train ran on her which shocked me. I would have been down for it, but there was no notice and a bunch of random dudes showing up to my apartment and having my address. I told her that she should have gone to a hotel for this. She got hurt saying that I shouldn't project on her and that maybe not everyone could afford that. I got upset that she got upset. Super indignant and ignorant. I was also hurt because til I thought I was special, but here she was just trying to take advantage of trying to get something from me, not share something.
Dreams involving sexual relationships can often represent deeper emotional or psychological themes, especially when involving past partners. In your dream, there are several key elements to unpack that can shed light on your feelings, desires, and unresolved issues.
Ex-Girlfriend as a Symbol: The presence of your ex-girlfriend, particularly one who seems to be a blend of two people you know (Stefanie and Sara), suggests a longing or unresolved feelings about past relationships. She symbolizes parts of intimacy and emotional connection associated with those experiences. The way she expresses missing you and your sexual chemistry could reflect your own nostalgia for the relationship or aspects of it that you found fulfilling.
Sexual Exploration and Desire: The dream explores sexual themes, such as experimenting with new forms of intimacy (anal sex and the idea of double penetration). This could symbolize a desire for exploration in your real life, both sexually and emotionally. It suggests that you're open to new experiences but may also be navigating the boundaries of what you're comfortable with.
The Enema and Cleanliness: Her action of doing an enema in front of you might have triggered feelings of disgust, which points to your boundaries being tested. In dreams, bodily functions can represent the need for purification or cleansing of past emotional baggage. You might feel that indulging in your desires comes with certain practical and moral considerations that should not be dismissed.
Intrusions and Control: The unexpected appearance of your neighbors and their invitations to participate in the intimate situation may reflect feelings of lack of control in your life or relationships. This opportune trespass into your sexual space indicates potential fear or anxiety about losing intimacy to others or feeling undermined. You may feel protective of your space and what it represents.
Conflict and Misunderstanding: The conflict arising from your ex's assertion about meeting her needs juxtaposed with your feelings of being used reveals deeper emotional struggles. It seems like you want to feel special and valued in intimacy, yet there's an underlying fear of being just another option or source of gratification. Her reaction to your concerns highlights an emotional disconnect, indicating that perhaps both you and your ex have unresolved feelings regarding expectations and boundaries in relationships.
Self-Reflection and Awareness: The final confrontation about going to a hotel could symbolize your need for self-respect and emotional clarity. It hints at a desire for stability and an understanding of what mutual respect means in intimate relations. The feelings of indignation and hurt underline the importance of feeling valued—both in a romantic context and personally.
In summary, this dream could be interpreted as a reflection of your innermost desires, fears, and conflicts regarding intimacy, exploration, and identity within relationships. It encourages you to consider what values you prioritize in connections, the emotional baggage of past relationships, and how to assert your boundaries while still being open to pleasurable experiences. The mix of emotions signals an opportunity for self-exploration and growth, steering you toward understanding what intimacy means to you at this stage in your life.